Lately, something has been weighing on my mind concerning self-worth, and self confidence. This entry is mostly directed toward young women who are trying to figure out their paths in life, and are maybe feeling lost and confused. It's for young women who pass through the seasons of their lives not knowing how to handle the situations thrown at them, good or bad. This is for the young women who hear that life is beautiful and know that it's true, but sometimes don't know how to feel it. For the first time in my life, I feel that my words might be able to reach a few hearts, and that maybe the experiences that I have had in my own life will be able to help at least one individual.
I have been told that I have been given certain experiences to inspire those about me, and I believe that is true. At almost 22 years old, I know there is still much life to be lived, and many lessons to be learned still. But I also know that all of the things I have seen and done and felt and loved have made me the person that I am today. That every good experience has allowed me to see the loving hand of a Father in Heaven, and every hard experience has taught me some significant lesson that I needed to learn. If I took away any of the experiences I had, I would be lacking as an individual. Every single bit of my life happened to mold me into the person that I am to become. I didn't always know how to handle the hard things, and really, I'm still learning. I didn't always understand why hard things happened to people who were trying their best, and even when they were trying their best, things were not working out. I didn't always understand that sometimes, happiness takes effort. It's hard for even myself to believe it now, but as a teenager, my confidence level was not high. I was blind to my own worth and how my Father in Heaven saw me. I measured my own value by the way others saw me, and not even the important others... it was the others who really didn't matter that had a grip on me. In result of my confidence level, or lack thereof, my happiness level was also lacking. Yes, I still found joy and was ultimately carefree as teenagers have the short privilege of being, but deep down I had no idea who I was. And that was nobody's fault but my own. I was taught by loving and stern parents that I should expect the best of myself, that I could, should, and would eventually become my best self. They expected these things of me as well. They taught me that while life would never be perfect and that hard times would come, and often, that there is still beauty and happiness to be had. Gordon B. Hinckley said, "Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he's been robbed. The fact is that most putts don't drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are often more dull than otherwise. Life is like an old-time rail journey... Delays, side tracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by vistas, and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride." And there is no way that I could say that any better than he. My parents taught me that despite the fact that the standard for the level of morality for the world is quickly disappearing, I could still stand fast to my moral compass. It would make me different, yes. But it would also make me happy. They taught me all of these things and more. So I was taught, but I still struggled to be what I should be. That is normal. We are all human, we all make mistakes, and sometimes, we trip over things in our way, and even stumble over things from our past.
As young women, (I am assuming that is what most of my audience is. And if it isn't, you are still welcome to keep reading because whatever is said might still apply to you) there are so many things that the world expects us to be. There are so many opinions of what a woman should and shouldn't be floating around the universe, and most of them are incorrect. It is easy to see how any one person would feel that they could not live up to the standard set for them by the world, and if I dare say, nobody can live up to the world's standard of what a person should be. It is impossible to do so because we were not designed and created to be molded by the world in which we live. Yes, we live in it and must be able to function normally, but the fact of the matter is that pleasing people all the time is utterly impossible. You can be the juiciest peach in the world, but there will still be people who hate peaches. You can put on your nicest clothes, spray your best perfume, put on your most flattering makeup, smile your best smile, and be your best self, but that guy you have your eye on will still look right past you. You can be funny and smart and deep... still, people will not be satisfied. "I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back. And it's not the end of the world." And that is where, as a teenage girl, I went wrong. I put my happiness in other people's hands, and it didn't belong there.
It has taken me a little while, but I finally know where my trust belongs, where I should find and store my happiness, where I should invest my time and feelings, and where I should obtain my confidence. I know who I am, I know what kind of life I want, and I know what I want to be for others. Instead of putting my happiness in the hands of others, I began realizing that people fade in and out of our lives. They come, they go, some promise they will always stay and don't, some never make those promises but stay anyway, and others will chew us up and spit us out. I realized that there was one sure thing in my life that I needed to cling to and never let go. And that is a God who sees this imperfect daughter of His, but also sees her for her full potential. Who sees her as precious, beautiful, and wishes that she could see that about herself. A God who trusts her enough to allow precious children to come into her home someday for her to raise to be righteous, good people. A God who gives her these children, expecting her and her future companion to teach them to be kind, loving, strong people who love their Lord. A God who is also loving enough to see her and know the things that need improvement, to teach her the things she needs to learn albeit difficult and sometimes painful.
Readers, in this realization, I found myself. I found my confidence, I found my happiness, and I found love in my heart for all of the wonderful things that have happened in my life, and also for the things that have been difficult. Just today, I looked back on the life that I've lived thus far, and it has been beautiful. Not because it has been perfect, but because it has been everything but. I have also learned that love is not all that I have thought it is, and the older I've gotten, the more I realize that there is so much about this life that I don't know. Young women, please always remember something. When you have been rejected by someone, when you have failed at something, when you have tripped and fallen into the pits of hopelessness and despair, when you feel alone... You are never alone. You are loved beyond any measurement, you have been sacrificed for greatly, and you have a Father in Heaven who will always allow you to come to Him. In fact, His arms are wide open, anxiously waiting for you to realize that your relationship with Him is essential to your happiness. That no matter what is going on in your life, someone breaks your heart, you're a single mother struggling to get by, you feel you've made mistakes that cannot be fixed, He will always give you the strength you need. People won't always approve of what you're doing, situations in your life, or what you've done in the past no matter how little they know about you. They will criticize and point fingers, and they will judge you unrighteously. But that doesn't matter. They don't matter, and they shouldn't even occupy space in your brain. If you have the approval of the Father, you have everything you will ever need.
I do not claim to know all about this. I do not claim to know much, actually. I just know what I have learned, and what has given me happiness despite anything that is going on in my life. Please, focus on love. Focus on hope. Focus on helping other people. Focus on becoming the best, strongest person you can be. Do not be so concerned with where you have been or who you have been; God is more concerned about who you are now and who you are to become. Cherish those around you who love you for who you are, "who are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. Surround yourself with people who see your beauty when you feel ugly, your wholeness when you are broken, and your purpose when you are confused." You know who these people are, for they see you as God sees you. Remember your worth, your standards, and always ALWAYS look for the blessings. There are many. Laugh often, and when given an opportunity to love, do it.
"The only way to get through this life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer laughing, crying gives me a headache."- Sister Hinckley
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."
"I have learned that faith means trusting in advance what only makes sense in reverse."
"We have to embrace the conflict that God has put in our story. Often times, the scenes that we want to skip produce the ending we love to see."
"You can be smart and happy or stupid and miserable. It's your choice."
No comments:
Post a Comment